VT100

tMail ran the 100 (or rather 88 miles of it).  ANIMAL!  MadDog, Dogman and I worked the support crew shift.

tMail's Trip Report:

Where to start????

Call from Mutha, "tMail we missed the exit to the hotel, we are going to turn around be there in 20 minutes"

Once the 3 amigos arrived at the Snap Dragon Inn, which I give a 4 star for an in, we loaded into the Handler Wagon, MadDog assumed the pilot seat and we were off to registration.  As part of my continued training MadDog parked as far away from the registration tent as possible, he said it was my "warm up".

I weighed in at 158lbs the most I have weighed in 3 years, I was 152lbs in the morning before I left.  After the weigh in we rocked out under neath the tent and listened to the race rules and listened to Zeke Zucker and Mutha talk about the course markings.  Mutha held up all the course markings as Zeke explained them.  After the mandatory meeting was over we headed to the Windsor Inn for dinner.

DogMan really hit it off with the bus boy at the table, he can tell that story.

After dinner we went to the Snap Dragon and cuddled for the 6 hours of sleep 2.30am wake up.  Conversation with MadDog was about whether Spark should be a firetruck that was outside our window and A type personality Chuck Mattera gave us a call, nightmares for MadDog to experience at Tracer Brook.  I woke awake and felt like I had slept really well, MadDog bled all over the sheets, he can tell that story.

We arrived at Silver Hill Meadow for pre-race check in and then just hung out until the 4am start.  It was a wild start, everyone in headlamps getting ready for a 100 miles.  3-2-1 go!

It was ultra quiet for the first 45 minutes people just realizing what was in front of them.  I never ever thought in terms of miles I just thought in terms of keep moving.  There was the early thinning of the crowd and the groups started to get formed.  There were the constant questions of, Is this your first 100? What others have you done? Where do you live? What do you do?

Two people that stick out early in the race are this guy Luis from New Jersey built like a diesel truck and Chrissy Ferguson, Chrissy Ferguson during her hay day finished 3rd overall women at WS, was on the US Trail running team, her husband of 15 years just finished Hardrock which she paced him for and was now doing Vermont.  She was a true cougar, called me a cutie.  She is in a 20 year "agreement" with her husband at which point they decide if they go their own way.  She hates kids even though she has one and hates her grandson, but said he is cute as a button.  I never saw her again until after So. Pomfret aid station.

I was feeling good at this point as I steamed into Pretty House, first aid station.  Everything went great, I gave them the heads up that I need some ginger ale, the stomach wasn't 100%.  MadDog gave me some asian lotion on my knee, I got a Nutella sandwich and my hydration pack which qualified me for the Batton Death March!

As we headed out I crossed paths with few people was in some isolation and while heading to Stage Road did see a "Take Back Vermont" sign. Other than that we baked in the sun and the heat starting to take its toll.  I took a massive dump on some knoll and we just kind of kept going.  I came into Stage Road and the crew was magnificent I think we had some laughs the stomach was code yellow, I had some Thumbs, soda, lots of fruit, fruit was awesome, for the next 100 that will be on the high priority list.  We started to evaluate eliminating sugar.  I was doing a good job on ecap consumption and new I was being monitored based on the pack I handed off to the Dogs and Mutha.  I was started to get short changed my water at this point! They dropped me to one liter in the hydration bladder I was doing a really good job nursing the 26oz handheld.  I calculated I consumed roughly 5 gallons of water all day.

It was 17 miles until I saw the Dogs and Mutha again, and it was a grueling 17 miles of long climbs exposed sun sections and a guy that shit his pants and stunk like chicken shit.  Those 17 miles I don't really have recollection of I don't know why, but I was alone for alot of it.  I never thought of anything like solve world food supply, the debt crisis, taxes, invent something, I don't know what I was really thinking, I don't think you have time to think as weird as that sounds.  Its just moving forward, doing what you can to survive and you just keep going.  I had a cue sheet with me so I knew when my water stations were coming up.  I just really kept thinking about keep drinking and keep taking ecaps.

Camp 10 Bear came after a long fucking climb I remember running into camp and seeing a car stuck in a ditch on the side of the road, the Dogs and Mutha had a good spot on the left, I took in more fruit, drank, picked at stuff and took a piss and saw MadDog out of the corner of my eyes checking the color it was clear, I was looking too.

My first weigh in147lbs I lost 11 pounds, impossible, one girl said wait another said go, I just walked away.  This was impossible, but it makes my weigh in on my scale of 152lbs accurate b/c I normally am down 4-5lbs after 50 milers.  Anyway I took off and rolled along.  I remember this section being brutally hard, I felt like I was going backwards the climbs were relentless and two of the aid stations were out of everything when I rolled in that was sort of depressing because I was looking forward to fruit and was craving it.  I remember feeling food at this point, maybe I was telling myself that and believing it but at the next handler station at Tracer Brook the true race started.

I came in running, I think, I can't remember, but I know that I ran around a right turn and the Dogs were to the left sitting down in the shake in a nice set up.  I went from feeling good to vision going blurry and my hearing starting to go, very muffled.  I was standing up looking at MadDog and I admitted MadDog, I am not doing good.  He said, "I know".  Things then went worse, I felt like I was going to drop.  Then I was bent over, being held up, water being rubbed on me.  Someone washed my face, I don't know who, but I was asked "tMail don't you feel better". I don't even know what I said, but it didn't.  It was MadDog that suggested I sit down, I didn't want to because I "feared the chair".  I was conscious of time and how long I had been there, but I wanted to pass out.  DogMan was down low with me, in a real caring spirit for me and it made me feel good.  He made me feel like, your stomach is a disaster that is ok, just try this, ok you don't like this try this.  He came at me with every angle for food.  He found his target with Snickers bars and then Ensure, I think cashews, I think fruit, I don't know, but the cold water was the best.

***Attention***MadDog was brought back to being 3 years old at this point as we later found out and will be joing G.A.C

My color I was told was green or white or combo of the two.  I was given some Chocolate ensure that I didn't want to take I think I remember saying I will puke that stuff up, anyway I drank it.  I was coming around and MadDog gave me that slight head nod/eye contact and said "ok bud you gotta get up now" I got up was given my pack and Mutha walked about with me trying to get me to eat almonds or cashews I can't remember.  I remember saying to him I wanted my sunglasses, I don't know why, he ran back and go them for me.  He stayed with me until I gave him the all clear.  5-10 minutes later I threw up 4 times in the middle of the road as a Subaru Outback drove off the side of the road as I stood in the middle and hurled.  Whole chunks of Snickers bars came up and it was all chocolate, chunks of stuff.  This kid Jeff watched in horror and said, 'that was impressive".  I felt better but knew I just threw up everything that revived me.  I wanted more food, but I was stripped of everything I had water and ecaps and almonds.  I would eat one almond at a time it would take 10 minutes to chew one.  Anyway that mile out of Tracer Brook up Prospect Hill was brutal took me 30 minutes for 1 mile I think.  After that I rolled to Margaritaville and discovered no crew!!!!  I backtracked back about 200 yards and there was Mutha in the road.  I was ahead of schedule.  Margaritaville is probably the most organized place and actually has lots of stuff.  I took a burger and it took hours to eat I kept it with me and the Dogs and Mutha walked with me for a while, I remember taking another piss at this point and then took off for Camp 10 Bear.  Camp 10 Bear more action was happening bodies falling apart.  I picked up Mutha at this point and somehow was back to 157lbs, humanly impossible after what I just went threw.

Mutha and I took off, we were doing good, I don't think I said much to him, but he worked on me for eating and drinking.  We negotiated how many cashews he could give me in my hand 2 was the max I could take.  We had some long climbs and hit some beautiful horse facilities heading to South Woodstock.  We put our headlamps on too a full moon that was beautiful and walking through a field that was like Gettysburg.  The West Winds/Spirit of 76 handler station was cool, lots of lights and candle stuff, I remember asking DogMan for hamburger I really wanted one, they didn't have any but it seemed like they had a grill going and I was really confused by why they wouldn't have won, but I got a piece of bread with turkey meat on it, I took it.  Heading out to Goodmans and Cowshed I know it was slow going I ran what I could walked what I had to.  We were on dirt roads, the dust was everywhere you could see it in the headlamps.  I felt like I was doing ok, we hit one unmanned aid station and someone left a Ensure, Mutha grabbed it and we negotiated sips and cashews.  After Cowshed Aid Station on ran into some of my trail hunnies from TARC, we headed out and I this point the exhaustion started to hit, I walked with my hand on Mutha's shoulder and closed my eyes.  The idea of taking a nap crossed my mind, there was 1 kid taking a nap with his handler watching over him.  I thought I was doing ok, I was moving forward, I remember seeing a big cow's eyeball and his head it kind of made me laugh it was pretty cool.  The sky was clear as day and the moon was beautiful. 

We guessed around 86-87 miles I took one step and the knife went through the knee.  Mutha did a great job of trying to manage and identify what was wrong we decided to sit down in a really cook spot and just chilled, I took 2 NSAIDs and just chilled.  The pain was a 7 out of 10 for me, it was giving out, it was burning and I could put no weight on it.  Mutha wanted to rest more, but I wanted up.  I tried to keep going again, but everystep was I let out a G$$$ war whoop / MadDog primal scream.  I tried dragging the leg, using Mutha as a crutch, I couldn't figure a way to make it work.  I was proud of how far we made it, I sort of accepted it.  It was buckle or bust, I busted and left what I had out there before Bills.

Mutha let some runners know #76 was down, within 20 minutes the Dogs showed up, I was laid out in the grass Mutha was laying against me so I wouldn't lose heat.  MadDog came over he had a big smile on his face, it made me feel good, like I made him proud.  I was down and out laying in dirt and grass, knee on fire, 88 miles into the Vermont 100 and I was at peace and MadDog was happy, what a tough guy to please!!!!!!

That was our day.

I know that MadDog, DogMan and Mutha had a great time and everything turned into being so much better than expected.

I had the worlds best crew and support.  It is tough to ask someone to take up their entire weekend, take them away from loved ones, their daily jobs, weekend tasks, to serve you.  Regardless you don't want to let them down and I know we had that understanding, but it is a tremendous amount to ask of people and MadDog, DogMan and Mutha, I can not THANK YOU guys enough, you guys did more than I ever thought.  It was a pleasure coming into those aid stations seeing you guys and what plans of attack you had for me.  I was demanding of things and asked for the impossible at times but you guys always came through, THANK YOU.  You guys were my life support and I could not have made it as far as I did without you guys.

PM and G$$$ I felt you guys pushing me along and I know you wished you were there, because if you were [... omitted for vulgar, private joke ... ] !!!!!
 

MadDog's Trip Report:
Since I am late penning this I will only try to fill in some blanks, in quasi-chrono order, here's the raw unedited version:

1. I get a text message from a welterweight champ of Blue Hills aka "Cheeto commandeer", he's just getting on I91 south from I89, and will be sequestering himself in his room, and wants to know my status. I respond I'm on my way to get one of the other corner guys, and we'll be on the road to fight-central soon.

2. I wind my to the Bear den parking lot. No signage. Enter an open door and kindly ask where Bear Code is. She's agitated and unfriendly (editors note: I am not liking this Montpeculiar behavior - I see a pattern) and tells me they're over there - no sign. Thanks I say and off I go.

3. I enter what I envision a Formula 1 garage looks and encounter and engaged and focused Andy Gilbert, chief techno-pundit holding court of the IT dweebs. MD: "Andy, you in a meeting?" DM: "Maddog! Yeah, I will be with you soon." Not good, I am thinking. And I head next door to the granite fab slum, and schmooze with the stoners. I was in heaven.

4. A trip with the VT trippers is not a trip, if we don't miss the exit. Mutha steps up and makes the call to Cheeto What fun!

5. Mister Snapdragon, was a little too snappy for me. Red flags were raised...though I praise him/them for the improvements to the building. I have a softspot for rehab care given to old buildings.

6. Windsor Station pizza sucks. Farnum Hill cider is not bad, not bad at all.

7. The first time I really reconnected saw parts of the area from my race was when we passed by the South Woodstock store. Suddenly I felt anchored. The whole weekend I was constantly replaying parts of the races as we encountered it - and I could remember - the runner's perspective is completely different than the crews.

8. I was pleased to see Cheeto relaxed and chilling when we were putting in for the night. We both got a good chuckle from the text from Spark regarding the firetruck for sale "I will take it" - he doesn't even know wtf it is...we both laughed hard. From there something went terribly wrong....

I woke at 230 from phone, and Cheeto wakes. We soon find that my hands must have been bound overnight and that my wrists showed severe bruising. And then, the sheets under me had splotches of blood. Windsor forensics would be engaged but not before we headed for the horses and the start.

9. I had a momentary panic mode when I got separated from the boys, with 2mins to go. Thinking to myself it would be awful not to see him. Out of nowhere, Mutha appears from within the crowd and reels me in.

10. Off the runners, as Cheeto gets ready to move out, we wish well, and he does a little head drop to his left shoulder, subtle but noticeable from behind. It's the exact move a boxer does when loosening up in the ring before touching gloves. He's going to rumble, I thought.

11. We regroup and begin to get camp setup...after 30mins of boy chatter and frolic at the expense of Chisel, amongst a bunch of quiet tents Betty Boxer shorts appears and sends us off with our tails between our legs. We naively assumed that those tents were 100 mile runner's tents (and thus emtpy) not so...she firmly informed us. Buh bye Betty.

12. Stage Road was a porn set. While melting at my post I was confronted by commando chick, a pacer I suspect but who had rather sparse views on clothing. As if that wasn't bad enough...15 ft off of commando's right shoulder was the drop bag area. In comes BUFFy, she's hunting around for her stuff and I return to my lookout for the boys and Cheeto, I no sooner turn back the other direction, and Buffy it appears decides she's better off with no top while hunting through her drop bag. I wondered if she was looking for her sunscreen...then Cheeto pulls in. At the same an older guys stumbles onto us. I am battling inside because Cheeto is in, DM and MZ are on him, so not much I can do and the older guy needs help - so I try to split my attention between the two. While ok, the guy did ask me for help. I felt obligated got him a coke and helped with his drop bag. I use drop bag loosely. It was a Hannaford plastic grocery bag, with a roll of duct tape in it. I was astounded. He drank, I got back to Cheeto and he was pulling out of there so off we went...

13. All throughout the course and event, I was reconnecting with my race. It was magical to climb back in time, with the sensory of the day triggering all kinds of memories.

14. The whole bag swap idea was great. Once Cheeto was back on the course after an aid station, we immediately dissected what he gave us - allowed us to play enduro-anthropology, and try to infer what the f was going with Cheeto. This and Larry Ellison's masterpiece were the only tools we had to use that allowed us to make ourselves believe that we somehow had control. We control of nothing.

15. These 24+ enduro races are tests of one's ability to physically perform, manage the body and mind, and manage the course. Bringing all that together is not easy. Cheeto did a splendid job! At several of the major station stops - essentially a 20mile spacing, you could see the damage and effect of the course on runners. Strong and spirited at the start, and then 40 miles some slight changes, then 60 miles in bodies slumping, starting to shuffle, then 80 miles unable plant a foot on the slightest downhill, hurling, unable to smile, etc etc...it was really something.

16. Praise and kudos to DM and MZ, for all the positive energy and engagement during the weekend. No better crew was anywhere in sight.

17. Fuck Tracer Brook. There is always one low spot in these events, Cheeto knew it, and worked through it. It was great.

18. Seeing the body at Camp 10 stabilized and wrapped in a burrito on a stretcher was only reminder to me of how we should be thankful for the ability do that kind of event.

19. Yes Cheeto, we were secretly dialing back on things in the pack...after seeing a pattern of consumption dropping from the bladder and needing solids etc., and knowing the likelihood of it increasing to be nonexistent, we were offloading weight for you, and trying to soft-force feed you. Tactical decision by your corner team. I was inspired and reassured when Cheeto said he wants the buckle. Don't know where that came in the course, but it was essential for him to articulate it and us to hear it...it reaffirmed the machine's goal.

20. I don't about health care in Virgina, but I do know there are pretty darn good surgeons there.

21. It was good for the corner guys (and I think for Cheeto) to launch you out of Margaritville with a burger in hand. I did not like the guy who wanted to dock you 2mins for peeing there.

22. Spirit of 76 was an awesome spot to see you guys, as short as it was. And a little funny about the misfires on the hand offs.

24. Bills was where it was at. ...it was a wild period of emotions. I was worried to death and sad as the minutes ticked away. Worried about not buckling and not wanting him to be devastated - given all that that he has done and given up in the preceding 11+ months, but not worried about Cheeto's health. And I was reconnecting with my race when I hit Bills. When word came that we had to go out to the boys, it was comforting for a split moment, knowing that the Cheeto wouldn't have to punish himself with the rest.

25. Cheeto Comanche, showed us lot - he is disciplined, committed, wasn't attached to the outcome, he didn't have buckle fever - but he can endure. Great job, DM, MZ, CC.

Mt. Tom, Mt. Field, Mt. Willey, Mt. Hale: Off The Grid

Route: Parked at the Hale Brook Trailhead. Took the road to the Zealand Trail, left on the A-Z to Willey Range Trail, tagged Tom, Field, Willey. Then dropped to the AT, ran to Zealand Hut, then Lend-A-Hand over Hale and back to car.

Mutha's Trip Report:
Total time from car to Zealand Hut (via Willey Range and Ethan Pond Trail):  4:45 for me.  I covered the 5.8 miles of the Ethan Pond Trail (AT) in 1:46, including the time to take a power dump in the woods that was loud enough to pose a territorial challenge to the moose in the notch.  I'd been having intestinal discomfort all morning (farting and belching) and this basically took care of everything.

The long run along the Ethan Pond Trail (5.8 miles) and the final scramble up to the hut to make the 2pm goal (arrived at 1:57) left me dripping in sweat.  At the hut I took advantage of the water flowing over the smooth ledge and soaked my head. 

From the hut we hammered up the Lend-A-Hand to Hale summit (1:00 for me), then down to the car.  Elevation Gain:  (no idea - probably over 4k).
Total miles:  22.3.
Total time for me:  6:45. That's about an 18 minute pace on average.

tMail waited for me 3 times, totaling close to 0:30.  Chasing after him was useless.

Those summits are now off my grid for July.

Trail conditions:  There was not a single noteworthy element to the conditions out there.  The trails are in great shape although A-Z was, as usual, a bit overgrown.

tMail's Trip Report:  Run in number 1: I'm cruising along on EPT just rocking and Joey Bag of No Maps stops me dead in my tracks. He is walking towards Thoreau Falls and asks me is Guyot Camp site up ahead. I thought it was a joke. I said Guyot? He says "Yes". I said you are not even close. You need to head up to Zealand, Twin Way then towards the Bonds, South. He says "South". Look buddy do what you want. We saw him at Zealand while getting water looking at guess what a map! In retrospect I should have told him take Thoreau Falls trail to Wilderness to Bondcliff Trail and you can't miss it.

Run in number 2: The caretaker at Zealand found out I was drinking from Zealand falls, from some spy. Water rushing at 100's of gallons per minute, got read  riot act NOT to drink from the water.

Run in number 2 and 3 combo. MadDog the girl at Zealand was smoking, black sports bra, dark tan, tattoo across lower back and SHORT green shorts. At our deep water soak the girl from Quebec, smoking!

The water soak was awesome, the route awesome!

Zealand road should be blown up.
Tom Field Willey Hale nice knowing you in July!

Central Vermont Bike Tour: Calais, Vermont and beyond!

Sunday, g-$$$, DogMan, tMail and I took part in the CVBT (a fundraiser for the Cross-Vermont Trail).  This is an outstanding 60 mile tour that hits some of the most astounding routes in central Vermont north and east of Montpelier, centered on Calais.  They offer three incredibly well-marked routes:10-ish, 34-ish and 60-ish miles), no official finishing times, great aid stations and a huge buffet at the end.  The start/finish is at the Morse Farm, which includes a gift-shop that sells maple creemees - a summer staple in this part of the world that, made with real maple syrup, is an out-of-this-world flavor.  DogMan, g-$$$ and I biked the 60.  tMail ran the 34.  Here's a description from g-$$$:

Yes it was a great event.....nice intimate grassroots event.  Organizer is super-passionate and just trying to promote his cause without trying to make it a big moneymaker.  Entry was $50....very reasonable for the level of support and effort.  The course was hard.....lots of short change of tempo climbs and lots of leg/lung busters.....descents were fun but often heavy on the washboard.  Because of the amount of rain they've had up there the roads were often a little soft so it was easy to get bogged down in the thin muck.  The course is your classic Vermont ride...endless Vistas and cow pastures galore.  Turns were well marked and the local support was wonderful.  The course was special...we even rode UNDER a barn!

DogMan's Trip Report:  Really enjoyed it.

G$$ - thanks for the smoking first leg and a half and the fluid. Very impressed. Who needs a sternum anyway?

Tmail - way f* impressed. Pummels the Whites Saturday, solo runner navigates the hill country, fends off red neck dog attacks, pushes through the paved brutality of Minister Brook, cruises smoothly to the finish.

Mutha - Pummels the Whites Saturday. Today, uh - did you sweat? I think you could probably just ride BMB next weekend and finish. Sure it would take you a while, but you would cruise into the finish laughing, telling a story, put on your 5 fingers and go find someone to "run around with".

g-$$$'s Trip Report:  Finally home and showered, bike and riding gear put away, chores (trash/laundry) done....sitting at my desk trying to motivate myself to get some work done......it's looking more like f' that.

Sorry I missed the beef tips...they looked good....but got to spend an hour at the lake house with EZ-E and and then around the campfire with 5 women....they all want to meet THE VALENTINO...it seems my mangled sternum was not nearly as impressive as someone running 34 miles!  I think Lisa wants to hook you up [last 3 words omitted by blog author to retain PG rating].

Dogman....the only reason I fought so hard to stay with you was I didn't want to get lost....riding today was like having a headset in my ear and cues coming from the team car.  For not having many miles under the belt it didn't show.

Muthaz...the Goat Shack Farm tour was awesome.....TJ was exactly as described....sorry about dragging shit into your house and sticking you with the beef tips bill...but hey I paid for your salad.  Incredible that you did Tecumseh and Osceolas in 5.5 and then did the 60 too!

Tmail...as usual...Impressive...Simply Impressive.....

Not sure I'll be getting out with you guys next week with the Holiday and all.....so it may be the VT100 will be the next chance for me to get out with you guys....

The Pain in the NEK is going to be AWESOME!!!!

tMail's Trip Report: What I a weekend! The weekend hangover is here.

We started training camp with a warm up - up Tecumseh ski slope and down the North West side of Tecumseh. This was "joint 47". The trail down is beautiful very runable, we had very wet conditions but held a good pace. We took the right onto Tripoli Road and headed toward Mount Osceola which we crush in no time then had a rapid descent.

Once pack on Tripoli we crushed it back to the car and had a classic NH River soak.

Mutha got his latte or double espresso at Mad River Coffee.

Saturday night was chilling out and evening cores. Booker T banged in he said his head was ready to explode.

Sunday morning came early. Booker T was seen flying down Peacham and arrived fully recovered for morning chores.

We left to pick up DogMan and arrived at Morse Farm. G$$$ greeted us and the bike squad got ready along with the lone runner.

Fears going into this getting lost or eaten alive by a Vermont Junk Yard Dog. Fears came to revelation on Lyle Young Road which has a beautiful barn from 1899. Let's call the "Great Dane" Toby. I saw Toby early and he saw me. Owner was under his car in the front yard fixing it. Toby came charging he was eye level to me and ran with me snarling, growling. Owner was probably still under car until I heard "Get back dog". Toby didn't care I told him to F off and he stopped.

From the top of Worcester Road to West Hill Road brutal. Asphalt paving torture. (DogMan there is a road off Worcester Road (Robinson Hill Road) it looks like a beast. Anyway the cavalry starting coming West Hill Road first DogMan, then G$$$ who rode with me until Culver Hill Road aid station. I then saw Mutha on North Street and again on County Road when he ran in with me. I almost had my 2nd run in with Rotweiller on Horn of the Moon Road. He had destroyed the window and curtain and torn tore through the window screen. His head was through that and he was ready to eat tMail. He never jumped through window.

This was a magnificent run tour the roads are just relentless and hard pack gravel. Running through the NEK (E. Montpelier, Calais, Worcester and Middlesex just rocked. Those climbs are brutal running can't imagine on a bike.

Sunday night was rocking with 7 dogs, the DogMan family beef tips, Positive Pie Pizza and DogMan home brew. The Apple cider was rocking, I loved it.

This morning Mutha, Spanky, Jake and myself probably ran for 45 minutes attacked by deerflies it was brutal but we survived.

Training camp concluded back at Muthaville USA.

Booker T is a true classic. His bike is a disaster, we took off his front breaks and replaced the rear pads with the front ones. No front breaks. He needs medicine lots of it, the stuff he is on doesn't work he needs like Rhino tranquilizer. He is a GOOD kid, just needs help and guidance. He attention span is a nano second. He got booted off the property Sunday night.

Mutha / tMail. "Get the F out of here" (we chased him on his bike)
Booker T "Why"
Mutha "Go the F home"
around the corner walks Booker T's teacher. Mutha says "can you flunk him next year" she says "he wouldn't care".

This morning Smidge, Chance, Einstein and Zeus got their tetanus shots.
Zeus will be eaten soon he is pretty useless.
Thor has a nice burial.
The bees are rocking.

Stay tuned for coming weekend adventure!!!

Mutha's Trip Report:  I've got total adventure hangover.  Everything around me looks really boring.  A weekend w/ you guys and I'm just lost.

tMail: holy crap.
dogman:  SMOKE THAT COURSE (ridin' it like a native).
g-$$$:  you think if i cracked MY sternum i could ride like that?

this was great adventure, no doubt.  what a fun weekend.

Osceola & Tecumseh: Joint 48

tMail and I finished our 'joint 48' today:  our joint tagging of the White Mountain 48 together.  We ran from Waterville Valley, up the ski slopes to Tecumseh, down the north side to Tripoli Rd, along the road to the trail to Osceola, up and back, Tripoli Rd. to Waterville Valley and the car.  16.5 miles, under 5.5 hours.


We soaked in the brook by the Tecumseh Trailhead (not the little trickle by the trailhead, but the rushing brook about 150ft in.

Conditions were easy and predictable.  Things were  a little wet but nothing unusual for the way this weather has been.  We just churned out the miles and the feet of elevation and I did my best to keep up w/ the wind.... The wind had to wait for me.

Chamberlain and Rake Factory Roads

I figured I'd get some miles in today on my bike.  22.3 miles and 1170' elevation gain (according to MapMyRide).  It took 2.25 hrs.  "Woah, 10 mph Mutha, what the hell?  Sounds like you had a rough time of it...."  Yeah, I did. But even though my pace was slow, I have an excuse.  It was a rough ride.

"But ...", you ask, "... at 10mph avg speed what was the holdup?  Legs?  Lungs?"

Neither.  I cruised south to Peacham and then east to Barnet at a good clip on my old Specialized Crossroads, and then at an inspired moment, made a crucial left on something called Warden Road.  Then turned onto something called Chamberlain Road, and then a left on something called Rake Factory Road, then back home.

I knew what I was in for.  For those of you who have any idea what this might've been like, allow me to give you a few ideas of how this route has been transformed by all those massive storms.  For those of you who have no idea what Chamberlain and Rake Factory roads are like, pull up a chair and check this shit out when you have time to read.  Here are a few notes:

1)  The first part of Chamberlain, done in the reverse of what I've done w/ some of you, involved a lovely climb which was at first just a matter of putting the bike in my smallest gear and working it....until I got to the section that was about 150' from the guys house on the long driveway w/ the dogs that came out to meet us.  As some of you may recall, this was where (coming down) I got off my bike and walked it for a while because of the loose and large rocks.  Well, the town used large stones again to repair it after the storms.  They were large and jagged, up to 8-12 inches mixed w/ smaller rocks and dirt.  I had to get off the bike.

2)  At the guys driveway, I headed off into the woods on what's left of Chamberlain Rd.  This wasn't too bad at first - just a little rutted and muddy/soft.

3)  Chamberlain still appears on maps - MapMyRide shows it, in fact shows it splitting into two roads, both of which come out on Rake Factory.  I've been on it three times (or four?) and have never found the 'fork'.  There's zero evidence of it.  In fact the mile or so after entering the woods and leading down to Rake Factory Road was abandoned a number of years ago and last year was basically an ATV/snowmobile trail in the woods, climbing up and over Strobridge Hill in a rutted, muddy, trail.  There's not a lot left of it on that section.  What's left I couldn't ride down, which doesn't mean a lot, but at least I didn't have to carry the bike except in a few short sections.  It could probably be navigated w/ a 4-wheeler with some skill, really aggressive tires and a significant clearance.  Worse than the 'road' condition were the mosquitos, which were thick and swarming.  It was downhill, I had to drag the bike in and out of ruts, and wipe bugs off my body.  If any of you remember the first climb up from Rake Factory Road, I couldn't even ride down that.  Chamberlain has a canyon about 2ft deep meandering down the middle of it.

4) Okay, so I got on the bike about 50' from Rake Factory road, made my left, and within a few minutes was off the bike.  Then on and off again for no more than 100' at a time, until I unclipped my left foot in a mudhole, fell to the right and landed on my shoulder/back.  I was moving forward at no more than 0.1 mph so the impact was relatively easy - kind of laid down hard and took a few rocks against the body - not even a scratch.  Well, there's nothing left of most parts of Rake Factory.  It's completely blown out.  For long stretches it looks like a rocky brook w/ steep banks.  For really long sections near the top the bottom of the 'road' is about 5 - 6' below the original grade.  Much of it is more than 2' deep, but blown out for the whole width.  In the steepest section, the road washed into the woods, which now looks like trees sticking out of a flat plain of mud - no organic forest floor - just trees sticking out of dirt.  I had to carry the bike for about 25 minutes, scrambling over boulders and shredded culverts.  I eventually dragged the bike into the dense woods and bushwacked for about 300 yards.  Unfortunately I didn't have the tool necessary to remove my handlebars - it would've been a lot easier if they were rotated parallel to the frame because the trees were so close together.  Mosquitos, branches, rocks, etc.  I eventually lowered the bike into the bottom of the gully and did some distance on rocks/mud/etc., then scrambled back up on the banks when I could.

5)  With great relief I finally hit Varnum Rd, which is normally a pretty primitive route (not too good in a passenger vehicle - mostly just trucks/farm equipment during sugaring season) but it had been repaired post-storm and compared to Rake Factory was like a freaking paved highway.  A few hundred yards later, made a right on the Thaddeus Stevens Road.  Ahhh, freshly graded this afternoon with ... uh oh, soft material.  The bike sank in so deep I couldn't pedal through it on the FLATS!  Crap.  Had to actually get off and drag the bike on flat freaking dirt road.  Well, even though it's a maintained road, the T.S.Rd is still pretty out-in-the-sticks, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when a black bear crossed in front of me and headed into the woods.  My first bear in Danville.  It didn't even look at me.  It just ambled across the road and into the woods.  I got on the bike and pedaled like a motherf**ker, looking over my shoulder repeatedly in case for some reason this bear decided to go into ol' grizzle bear mode.  I know, black bear aren't aggressive.  Right.  Fine.

6)  The last scramble was over the washout that has closed the Greenbank Hollow Covered Bridge, through the bridge, over the chain blocking the bridge from the other side and then 20 minutes later - home.

http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/38482858/http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/38482858/

North Twin Mtn, South Twin Mtn, The Tent & Thor

Mutha's Trip Report

Fun day for Team Barks-a-lot:  Dogman, Mutha, Trudy, Spanky & Jake.  Destination:  South Twin, via the North Twin trail, out and back.  Three river crossings.  On the way up, did the bushwack so only had to do last crossing.  Bushwack is now a well established trail - easy to follow - almost as good as the regular trail.

Beautiful weather - lots of sun and even more bugs.  Herbal Armor bug repellent works wonders (MadDog, that's the stuff you and I used in Wyoming).

The view from South Twin is amazing.  It's such a great perspective on everything from the Presidentials to Franconia Ridge, to the entire Pemi. The views of Carrigain and Mt. Nancy and even Norcross Pond are excellent.

While on South Twin, I found a nalgene full of water.  Score!  Gave it to the dogs.

On the way in, from North to South twin, kept an eye out for Chip's tent.  Every possible place, trudged around in the brush and woods looking for it.  We figured that on the way back it may be more obvious.  Indeed, on the way back, we scoured the woods with me mumbling "to find this tent, we have to think like a douchebag...".  After nearly giving up, we focused on a section of dead trees with deep ferns and fallen logs.  As it transitioned into the ascent up N. Twin, BAM!  The tent.  At the time I was pretty disdainful of Chip's explanation of where he left it, but after we hauled it out to the trail it was clear that it was actually a pretty accurate explanation - just a little vague - but there was no other way for him to describe it.

So we got a tent and a nalgene.

On the way home we stopped in Littleton at the DD.  I got a (hot) latte w/ whole milk.  Dogman got some crazy iced beverage.  While sipping the drinks, he saw a sign for a new special drink:  Mountain Dew Kolatta!  He promptly ordered a small and you could see the stars and hearts floating around his head.  The man has found his new beverage nirvana.

To round out the festivities, I pulled into the Burger King just before the highway, and focusing on the "$1 menu", ordered for the dogs 2 orders of 4-pc chicken nuggets and 1 'stacker' (a burger w/ cheese and a piece of bacon).  For $3.27 this should be quite the dog treat.  We got our order and after pulling ahead a few feet to park, started to distribute the chicken nuggets.  Jake just stared at his.  Spanky ate hers, but not very enthusiastically.  Trudy picked it up, sucked on it for a second and spit it out.  We though she just dropped it, so DogMan re-fed it to her.  She sucked on it for  second and spit it out.  Neither she nor Jake would eat them.  I tried the stacker, split into 3 chunks, and they wolfed them down.  It was a hunger thing - it was that the chicken nuggets were too far from "food" for the dogs to want them.... and dogs EAT ROADKILL!!!!!!!

The tent gets set up tomorrow to dry out and air out.

Last nugget:  we got to my house at 6:30 and headed in to the goatshack to see the new babies and only found 4 napping in the shack.  I heard a weird, pathetic bleating coming from somewhere, kind of muffled and figured out that one of the babies, Thor, had got himself wedged in the wall, just beyond my reach.  Little TJ showed up and Dogman, TJ and I grabbed a power saw and cut through the wall.  I pulled Thor out by the legs but he was limp and clearly dead.  I gave him mouth-to-mouth but it just inflated his stomach, and tried chests compressions.  I keep a stethoscope in my 'goat kit' and couldn't find a heartbeat.  TJ was crying and held Thor.  We picked a spot out by the garden and I dug a deep grave and we buried him covered w/ the towel he was born in.  We decided to put a marker up that reads "Here Lies Thor, 6/5/2011 - 6/16/2011, He was a good little goat."  TJ's dad came and got him and they left his bike here.

DogMan's Trip Report

Packed day.

1) Learned all about Linda "Lock Vagina" or something like that (Lot's to party a lot?). High maintenance apparently, but interesting to hear about her. We got there initially talking about Spungie's marriage. How is a mystery.

2) Perhaps I should have re-read the email on potential tent location. No tent on way up. Much cursing of Chip.

3) Bluebird day up top, although a little buggy. Much enjoyment by dog and man.

4) More cursing of Chip on way back, but with better idea of where potential spots are, we make a more focused and concentrated effort. Buggy as git all. I am about to go insane. Last chance, last place that makes sense, Mutha says "wait one second there are two rocks over here". Bingo! Bagged the tent!

5) We secure tent in bag, while enduring near insanity from bug assault. Apply some wonder lotion Mutha has. All good.

6) Much discussion of divorce.

7) Sorry G$$, some discussion of God. Although all good, mostly how Mutha woke up at 3am torturing Sue with a long to do list and an esoteric concern about "acts of god, whether if there are acts of god churches are liable, and if not, are insurance companies just making shit up". Had to be there. Sure you are sorry you missed it.

8) Nice splashing in river for dogs on way down. We do all 3 crossings, and hang in the last one, getting the legs wet. Cold, but awesome.

9) Required stop at DD. Scored a Mountain Dew Collatta (sp?). Highly recommended. When in Rome go Roman. If at a DD go as artificial and contrived as possible. Scored big.

10) Dogs reject "chicken" chunks from Burger King. This is really disturbing. $1 for 4 items that "look" like "food" but are roundly rejected by multiple dogs that have just spent 8+ hours in the mountains. This is not good.

11) Losing Thor. What a strange and sad incident. Will let Mutha cover this. Thunder on Thor. Thunder on.

After The Flood

Things have finally settled down after the great flood of 5/27/2011 and all the crap in my basement is either at the dump or under a tarp on the driveway - but it's now time to get back above treeline.  To that end, the following adventures have been scheduled:

• 6/15:  South & North Twin and The Great Tent Search & Rescue
• 6/18:  Something in the Presi's - same day as the MWRR
• 6/26:  The Puppet Master High Note (PM's Choice)

Franc Ridge: Buh Bye to Lincoln

Finally crossed another off my grid.  Jake, Spanky and I cranked out the miles.  The dogs are dog-tired.  That makes Lafayette and Lincoln.  I need Washington in July, August, October & November so I have a minor goal of crossing that Bad Boy off this year.

Today's route was the classic route:  ascend Falling Waters, descend OBP.  Conditions were pretty late-springlike:  lots of flowing water and wet rocks with lots of dry sections and some ice toward the top of Falling Waters near treeline.  Who'd a thunk it.  All the downed trees were cleaned up well enough that they didn't pose any real obstacles.  Water crossings were easy (lots of water though).  Because of the wet trail it's not ripe for speed records (see below).

So here's the fun part:  the lot was full of cars and heavy-duty equipment - 93 through the notch is being repaved.  The trails were really busy with quite a few lunatics sitting for a rest right IN THE TRAIL!  The weather gets nice and the crazies come out.

I targeted a 3:30 pace, + 30min for dog stops gave me a total planned route time of 4 hours.  It worked out almost to the penny:

• First stop on Lincoln:  3 minutes for dog to be fed.
• Lunch on Lafayette:  (2:03 from trailhead) 15 minutes for dogs for lunch and water
• Water stop at Galehead to play in stream (5 min)
• Water stop at Lincoln Brook just before parking lot (5 min).

Funny how it worked out so close.  Must be spending to much time on that route.

Rocket Ride at Burke Mtn

The Burke Mtn Ski Resort is closed for the season but the skiing looks to be about as good as it gets.  Dogman and I found a 4ft deep snowpack that was more than bombproof - you couldn't post-hole and jamming your ice axe in only got it about 3 inches into the base.   The base wasn't crust - it was firm (you could drag an ice axe tip through it for self-arrest, which we tested and in some cases had to implement.

We had quite a snow this morning so there was about 3 inches of new snow on top of the established base.

Dogman and I pulled the sleds (Paris Expedition) to the top, with Trudy, Spanky and Jake.  We went all the way to the top of the mountain and sledded down black diamond trails (marked in light green on the map at right).

This was the fastest I've ever gone in a sled, by a long shot.  We had helmets, face masks and goggles and used ice axes for the self-arrest for the times we popped out of the sleds.  The posture we chose was seated, legs over the sides with boots in the snow for steering and the axe in hands across chest in standard 'prepare to die' configuration.

The climb up was about 45 minutes to the parking lot just below the 3267' summit.  The total elevation gain was roughly 1200' (it's about 2000' from the base lodge to the top of the main lift).

Our first time down was hysterically fast but fraught with momentary panic at the high speeds, sled instability and sheer excitement.  The descent featured 3 or 4 stops, either accidental or of the 'stop-at-the-edge-and-look-over' variety.  This is a serious descent.

The second time up we climbed to the top of the Poma lift, probably 150' vertical short of the parking lot.  This is the top of the 'steep' part.  We were determined to make the run to the base in one continuous ride, now that we had the experience.  I ended up wiping out mid-run as I began approaching a gentle turn in the trail but was unable to manage migrating to the right.  With about 100m to the trees my efforts to drift right made the sled go into a tailspin and I got ejected.  Rather than self-arrest I shot downhill on my back (gortex whistling) until I came to a stop.  The sled shot over me but was arrested by the ankle leash I had fastened it with.

The rest was done in a continuous run.

Highlights:

• The speed.  Nothing like it.
• The snow kicked up by my boots formed a massive cloud around my and covered me, packing snow into my mouth (i had to chew it to get rid of it) and into my nostrils.  It was good snowball snow, but as we descended got heavier.  Toward the bottom, instead of merely crashing into my face, it was like a mashed-potato food-fight and I had to clear my goggles with a quick glove-wipe about every 5 seconds.
• The speed.
• The soft texture of the snow.  No bruises, injuries, sprains or tender tailbones.
• The speed.

Lafayette w/ Spanky, The Puppet Master & Riley

Up and down Lafayette via the Old Bridle Path.

Mutha's Trip Report (pics here):
A blue-bird day like no other. Lafayette rarely fails to deliver. The PM and I had slightly different ideas on what to bring. He had a full winter pack and went w/ microspikes. I had my smallest pack with only a windbreaker and a mid-weight top in it and wore crampons.

We were both right and both wrong in so many ways. I wore a sleeveless top for the ascent, which was great until I got above treeline and froze my tits off. I lost two fingers on each hand on the way up in the stiff wind. Temps were probably around 20° and the winds no more than 10-15 mph or so but sleeveless w/ fingerless biking gloves ... uhh, kinda cold. I got to the summit first w/ Spanky and made a beeline across the top and around the 'back' of the summit to the southeast corner where I could put on everything, including a fleece hat. Damn it got cold... but not as cold as on the way down, where we both completely lost all fingers and I thought I'd end up with frostbite on my cheeks/nose

Crap.

Other highlights:
* [Updated 4/11 to reflect site info from Fred] Saw a few people on the trail - pretty empty day though. Passed a solo hiker at the hut, saw him again at the summit and on the lee side of the summit (: Fred.  He introduced us to Trail NH which combines GIS info w/ trail reports from VFTT and Hike-NH, NETC and others.  Back down at the Hut we chatted for a while w/ some older folks that were having lunch who, of course, were familiar with folks I knew in Danville.  All socializing aside it was astoundingly sparsely populated up there for a picture perfect day. ... although I did think I was going to lose skin from the cold wind on the way down .... and i completely lost my fingers .... but whatever.
* On the way down, two guys skinning up were going to ski into the ravines. Both had helmets.
* On the way down, a guy coming up stopped to chat about the weather for a second. He kept referring to the schmutz in the sky caused by airplanes and the fast-approaching weather. I think he was insane. I just took off and left the PM to deal. WTF man, it was a gorgeous day!
* Great social day too. The PM and I covered a lot of territory: jobs, relationships, licorice and sardines. Hell Yaz!
* Took another 30 photos of the damn dog. Hey man, it's all digital. 1's and 0's. So stop complaining.

The Puppet Master's Trip Report (pics here):
Beauty of a day today.  The bluebirds were chirping and Mutha's wheels were turning! My regrets -

1. Agreeing to "blast" up Lafayette with Mutha.  I now know what that really means - wow!  It was like running with TMail, following a ghost!  Mutha had us to the hut in 1hr 15min.
2. Bringing my full winter pack and not a paired down version appropriate for the day.
3. Believing in microspikes while trying to front-point up a rock-hard, ice slab... eek!
4. Not packing more licorice logs - http://www.rjslicorice.co.nz/

 Heard on the hill today -

1. "F*cking Tmail" - for getting us to buy more gear and his inviting us to chase him as he runs like a lightning streak
2. "F*cking MadDog" - for talking relationships on hikes, keeping it all in perspective, and asking for a 600 mile triathlon later this year
3. "F*cking G$" - for not buying a condo in Waterville yet and getting us thinking about hiking/trips out West
4. "F*cking DogMan" - for battling the racer mentality (i.e. "get to the finish"), being full of zen, and sliding down ski hills like it's his job

My major rants....

• Narcisscism, and the self-promotion society we have become/allow
• Gov't shut down - what a bunch of j-holes! 
• Some terrorist's attorney fighting for his "rights"... right
• The cryptic code to crack
• The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
• Brother's donuts from Sanbornton Country Store (exit 22 off I93N) - mouthgasm!
• The power of communication and language

Great day out.  I needed that mountain therapy!

Pics (a lot in B&W due to brightness of sun)