And They Said It Couldn't Be Done!

We did it. Chart at right shows elevation as a function of time measured from 5:30am - our official start time at Lafayette Place Campground.

19.5 hours to Crawford Notch. We changed our route due to forecasted cold rain, unbearable pain & elevation gain. Pictures are online now [Link].

Highlights From Mad Dog:

1. rethinking and doing your pack strategy 4mins before the train leaves the station.
2. at the start, scratching our heads as to the trailhead from the campground.
3. cannon sucks
4. dont trust tmail around pancakes
5. got a bad knee, take henry's advice.
6. spearing food containers of canadian tourist, is not a crime against humanity.
7. tmail revealed a previously held pet name, "booger man"
8. do not engage in conversation with hut panthers
9. south twin sucks
10. AT chicks "don't need no stinkn maps"
11. mutha is a narco spy
12. cog
13. grundels are not well worn jet engine parts
14. the g-$$$ war whoop should be remixed into a dance track
15. hut crews rock
16. before traveling with this minstrel crew, always cut the meniscus and leave it behind....OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
17. (from here forward - the list was lost to the aftermath of snake cairn at basecamp)

Highlights From tMail:

1. MadDog is my hero
2. MadPirate.......RRRRRRRRR.......RRRRRRRR.......RRRRRR
3. Puppetmaster packed more food than I weigh
4. Puppetmaster has built in night vision
5. MZ knows every single turn, rock, root, stump in the Whites
6. MZ works for the CIA, FBI and KGB
7. Puppetmaster, MadDog, MZ and G-$$$ there is nobody better in the Whites!
8. I saw the Old Man in the Mountain on Lafayette and Zealand Parking Lot
9. Fuck my knees I can always get new ones
10. Galehead Hut can suck my ass, I think that place was a mental institution
11. Cannon can suck my ass, Garfield can suck my ass, South Twin can suck my ass, Zealand can suck my ass, and Guyot wherever that fucking thing is can....suck my ass
12. We will be remembered by many in Zealand Hut

Highlights From The Puppet Master:

1. Bringing so much gear and food that realistically I could have endured a good 30 day adventure, never mind 1.5 days!
2. Almost having to bust out the North/South finder 2mins into the trek!
3. The light on top of Cannon is equivalent to the Cog in my mind - fucking stupid.
4. The hut queens, panthers, cotton swabs, yoga fags, and pancake thieves.
5. BRAVO TWO ZERO... what the fuck would Andy do?
6. Zucker and a woman in a cat suit, Tmail fending off the dog, and MadDog in a room of nakedness
7. 81yrs old and still climbing AND the fact that Amy thought the pic was me in a mask!
8. The Gimp (aka MadDog) showing us all what pain management is all about. You animal.
9. G$ and his "lucky 7's", post-bike crash!
10. Grundel burn - EMS boxer briefs are not meant to ever get damp... great design you a-rods.
11. The trail allowing for the creative stringing of swear words such as "this trail is a goat fucking whore of a penis fold."
12. Missing all the flags waving on the summits and being asked if we were "with Mats."
13. The facial expressions after telling people our planned route!
14. Zucker trying to comprehend the WMNF map at 12:30am... like asking him to translate Swahili but in Spanish.
15. The "whimpers." Nightmares or grundel pain? We'll never know but what do you expect after hikng 28 miles?!

What I would have changed...

1. G$ in attendance
2. A pack with a backbone - that fucking droopy shit lump gave me back pain but was light!
3. Light boots vs sneakers
4. More carrots for everyone, no head lamps!
5. A different set up for my shorts/briefs. Perhaps I'll just toughen things up by rubbing a cheese grater all over my nether-region prior to the next adventure.
6. A larger appetite for the Red Fox - that place rocks!
7. Pack design is in our future
   

I'm definitely feeling the post-adventure hangover. Work sucks balls and I can't help but think of the great adventures to come... Onwards and upwards you "MIMERS" (mountain, integrity, mind, endurance... courtesy of MuthaZ it was there all the time.)

Highlights From Mutha:

1. The trail was steep and hot; sweat was dripping from our chins; steam rising from our bodies as we labored up the bent and broken trail. Such tortures as Danté envisioned for the punishment of souls of the damned, we endured. Such agony, as only Goya painted to reflect the victimization of the oppressed and the horrors of war, we endured. What was this place? How did we get here? Damn you, g-$$$ for casting us into this pit of despair. On the other hand, it was a really sweet hike.
2. tMail will eat anything. Heard it on the mountain:
   . MD: tmail, you've got a big booger.
   . [tMail reaches up and picks it out]
   . PM: now *eat* it!
   . [tMail obliges]
   ALL: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
3. MD really is a fucking pirate. He goes 'Arrrgh! alot" If we ever needed to lower a guy into a snake pit to retrieve a pot of gold, while jets of flaming lava are spewing around, and eunuchs with sharp swords are guarding the booty: send in BRAVO MD NINER!
4. The Puppet Master has a diesel engine with no "stop" setting and it doesn't lose torque on the ascents - even after 23 miles of pounding.
5. tMail has been muged by four more of the 48: Garfield, South Twin, Guyot & Zealand. His response: "Is that all you got?"
6. In terms of footing, elevation gain and the feeling at the end, the route we took was harder than the Presi Traverse.
7. In good weather, the extra 20 miles wouldn't have been out of the question - although i've got afflictions galore that i didn't anticipate - including fucked up rashes on my shoulders where the straps rubbed my sweaty shirt into my skin.
8. Leather boots have their purpose - and I think a good mid-weight boot would've been really appropriate.
9. We know a lot about what we want out of backpacks.
10. The Red Fox 'Jazz Breakfast Buffet' on sundays is worth the $8. Do it. Do it now.
11. The ascent up South Twin is a good test both to see if you still remember how to breathe and if your heart still works. Failing either of those tests means you don't get to tag Guyot.
12. It's fucking WILLEY, not WILEY for god's sake. WILEY was a fucking coyote.
13. There are a lot of old guys, geared up, with determination and the spirit of fun doing solo stuff all over the trails. We ran into Mr. Titanium-Knee on Lafayette in the blowing fog (age 81) not 4 minutes after my anecdote about meeting Mr. Speedy Ascent (age 82) on the same trail. We met numerous guys aged 60-80, alone, w/ packs, on the Garfield Ridge trail, looking like they weren't stopping any time soon. I am inspired.
14. What's up with chicks at the huts? It's like something in the water turns them into extreme forms of human life - in all different ways - some less tolerable than others. And this isn't just sexist claptrap. It was like the Huts spin a big pointer and it always ends up at: strange bird
    
15. It's been a long time since I laughed so hard that I:
    * doubled over
    * nearly puked while gagging
    * had tears streaming out of my eyes